आज फिर सूरज नहीं निकला...(Waiting for a new dawn...!!!)

 Does winter teaches us something? Yes it does, it teaches us kindness. Kindness, how? Because it snows in winter. Okay, so? And snow beautifies everything. So, we can say that Kindness is like snow, it beautifies everything it covers :-) Well, I know, it's bit too much of Gyan, but it's my favorite time of the year, the chilly wind, green pine trees, snow, cinnamon, hot cup of coffee, long walks, cashmere coats, pashmina shawls, visiting friends, house full of laughter, Christmas carols, New years hope, precious time with precious ones.

"Winter is not a season, it's a celebration"

Winter always give me some beautiful memories, something to always look forward, its a month of hopes, month of desires, month of chocolates and of course a month which always gives me a reason to write, a reason to smile.

"Beside good food and good wine, winter is time for fire and being home...enjoy each moment!!!"

Image courtesy: You all know by now, Location: Nainital, Uttarakhand

"अपने गर्म बिस्तर  से उठ

बाहर  झाँका मैंने 

तो पाया, आसमान धरती पर उतर आया है,

ताज़ी ताज़ी रुई के गुच्छो सा कोहरा 

दूर तक शहर को लपेटे हुए है,

शाल लपेटे हुए,यूँ ही चली आयी थी बगीचे में,

बेंच पर पहुंची अपनी,

तो पाया वोह ओस से भीगी हुई है,

पोंछ के उसको बैठ गयी थी मैं,

यूँ ही भटकते हुए,  नज़रें जा टिकी एक चिड़िया पर,

बैठी थी वो भी अकेली ,

शायद किसी के इंतज़ार में,

अपने ख्यालों कि धुंध से बाहर आयी,

तो देखा दूर पुल के ऊपर,

लैंप पोस्ट कि रौशनी को,

ढक रहा था कोहरा बहुत तेज़ी से,

जैसे बीती हुई यादों को,

फिर बहुत से प्रश्नचिन्ह लिए,

उठ खड़ी हुई मैं,

घूम कर देखा तो, अपने ओस से भीगे डैनों को,

हौले हौले हिलाती हुई

वोह चिड़िया भी बढ़ चली थी,

अपने घोंसले कि ओर,

तब समझ आया, एक अनकहा रिश्ता था हमारे बीच,

उसे भी और मुझे भी

इंतज़ार था,

एक नए सूरज का,

आज फिर सूरज नहीं निकला था....."

रेल की पटरी...(A Rail track...)

 What is life? Life is like a train track, full of possibilities. People come and go all the time from train station, just like in life but the ones, wait with you for the train or for the journey to end, are the ones that are worth keeping. Allow people to board train, accompany you on your journey, sometimes wrong train takes you to the right destination.

Train allows you to enjoy a embody of connection between different places, just like life, the ups and downs, different compartments for every feeling, laughs like friends and cry like a new bride, sometimes it connects you with morning dawn and sometimes with deep dark nights.

"Don't miss the train of life, because if you will miss the train, you will also miss being with the passengers on that train....keep taking trains, keep moving, keep meeting new people, keep exploring a journey of life..."

Image courtesy: Man in life, Location: Disneyland, Paris

"ज़िन्दगी क्या है......

रेल की पटरी पर दौड़ते हुए

डिब्बों जैसी,

कभी धूप, कभी छाओं जैसी,

लगती है कभी उदास,

दुल्हन की विदाई जैसी,

कभी, दोस्तों की महफ़िल जैसी...

कभी चढ़ते सूरज जैसी,

कभी गिरती हुई लहर जैसी...

कुहासे से झांकती धूप की किरण जैसी,

कभी आँखों से झरते मोती जैसी,

गुज़र रही है, बस यूँ ही,

पटरी पर रेल के डिब्बों जैसी...."

Translation:

"What is life...?

Life is just like

Train bogies, running on the rail track

Sometimes like Sun and

Sometimes like cool shadows

Sad sometimes, 

Like farewell of the bride

And sometimes

Like the concert of friends

Ever like to rising Sun

And sometimes

Like the falling wave

Like a bright ray of sun

In dense fog

And sometimes

Like the tears

Rolling from the eyes

Life is passing each day

Just like 

Bogies of train

On railway track...."

दिसंबर और धूप के कतरे...(December and Sunshine...)

December's wintery breath is already clouding the pond, frosting the pane, obscuring summer's memory..." It overwhelms me as I'm sitting on the terrace, watching trees covered in dense fog, a sudden burst of realization in the middle of the night. I can't help it and I can't stop it and sometimes it hurts...but I am learning to breathe deep through it and keep walking . I am learning to make things nice for myself and for others. To comfort my own heart when I wake up. "Will my love be true as December frost, or fickle and fall like the rose in June? To find small bits of friendship in a crowd full of strangers. To find a small moment of joy in a blue sky , in a trip somewhere not so far away, a long walk on an early morning in December, or a handwritten letter to an old friend, simply saying, I thought of you, hope you are okay.

Oh December...you meant so much to me!!! Now is the time for fresh starts, Oh December.... evergreen, frost, wood smoke, cinnamon and coffee...makes you perfect.

"Your immaculate coldness, makes me feel warm, it's never over..."

Image courtesy: man in life , Location: A beautiful sleepy town, Chail at Himachal Pradesh

"सर्दियों का मौसम, था
शायद दिसम्बर का महीना,
कोहरे की धुंध में,
रोज़ दीखते थे, कुछ ठिठुरते हुए से साए..
ऐसे में एक दिन,
निकला था सूरज,
बस उसी पल; एक बोतल में,
क़ैद कर ली थी, सूरज की तपिश मैंने,
और सोचा था, चलूँ;
दे आऊँ धूप के कुछ कतरे,
ठण्ड में बैठे हुए, लोगों को...."

Translation:

"It's winter

The month of December

In the mist of fog

I use to see

Few shivering shadows, everyday

One such day

The sun came out

And right in that moment

I thought and captured

the heat of the sun

in a bottle

And, I thought

let me give

some peace and sunshine

To those

sitting in cold..."

• 
  

अब क्या पूछूँ...? (what shall I ask...?)

“Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no fibs.” ― Oliver Goldsmith

Well, I am still confused, whether I should ask or not, the feeling is strange. One moment it pushes me to take a step forward and ask him, the next moment it says to Stop. I sometimes feel there is so much inside each one of us to ask, to seek, to entreat, to call....there is so much but then I decide to step back.

“To ask why we fall in love is like asking why the leaves fall..."

Love is like a seed, it grows from within, from darkness to light, one simply starts liking someone and gradually start loving, without even knowing the reasons. We all fall in love, sometimes we realize, sometimes we are confused and sometimes we just slip it away from us....we let it go.

But one should ask, one should know, so here I go. "Why don't you pretend that I asked, now answer the question... :-) 

Image courtesy: you know :-) Location: Delhi

 

 

 

"कभी पूछा

कौन हो तुम

कभी पूछा

मेरे कौन हो तुम

कभी, कहाँ हो तुम

और कभी,

क्या अनजान हो तुम

साया लगे कभी

कभी हमसाया लगे तुम

जीवन की उहापोह में भी

रोज़ याद आ जाते हो तुम

मेरी तन्हाईयाँ भी

तन्हा नहीं अब तो

मेरे अधूरे ख्वाबों को

क्यों सजा जाते हो तुम

हर धड़कन मेरी

बंधी है तुमसे

अपनी एक झलक से

मुझे आज़ाद

करा जाते हो तुम,

कितने सवाल हैं

अनगिनत से

पर अब क्या पूछूँ तुमसे

अपने मौन से

हर सवाल का

जवाब दे जाते हो तुम

अब क्या पूछूँ तुमसे??

Translatio

"Sometimes, I asked

Who are you?

and sometimes

Who are you to me?

Sometimes, where were you

and Sometimes

Unknown, are you?

You were like a shadow

and sometimes like

my own shadow

In the ups & down

of life too

Daily, I remember you

My loneliness is

also not lonely now

Why do you

dress up and decorate

my incomplete dreams

Each breath of mine

is tied with you

You set me free

With a glance of you

How many questions I have

Umpteen & countless

But what should I ask you,

You, answer each of them

With your silence

What else should I ask now?

ग़ालिब की किताब हो क्या (Are you a book of Ghalib?)

 Almost two decades....alas, it's year 2020, I have known you for such a long period and still I ask, where are you? I am here, still waiting, waiting for that one moment, moment of completeness, moment of happiness, moment of being with you, moment of taking the final nap, Moment of purpose ,moment of love.

Purposelessness is lifelessness..."

Where were you when I sip my coffee alone? Where were you when I tell the tales of my day? Where were you when I recited love poems, as I lay? Where were you?

To be honest, I would say, "You are exactly where you need to be and me, I also am precisely where I need to be.....but I still ask, Where were you?"

Location: At home (this is year 2020), Image courtesy: Junior

"वजह बेवजह अक्सर

जो भी मिलता है मुझसे

वही पूछ लेता है

कहाँ हो तुम ?

ढूंढती रहती हूँ

शायद मिल जाओ कभी

फ़कीर की दुआओं में तुम

दरगाहों पर बंधे 

धागों में तुम

मंदिर के शंखनाद में तुम

बचपन की मासूमियत में तुम

अब कहाँ ढूँढ़ूँ तुम्हें

बताओ ना

कहाँ हो तुम?

कभी ढूँढा तुम्हें

चाय की चुस्कियों में

और कभी

कविता की हर कल्पना में

पर मिले नहीं कहीं तुम

बताओ ना

कहाँ हो तुम?

कभी पढ़ नहीं पाती तुम्हें

समझ भी नहीं आते तुम

कोई ग़ालिब की किताब हो क्या?

पूरा नहीं होता जो कभी

वो अधूरा सा ख्वाब हो क्या?

बताओ ना...."

 

Translation:

 

"For reasons or needless often

whoever meets me

asks me often about you

where are you?

I look for you

Hoping to meet someday

may be in prayers of hermit

or may be in red threads

tied around shrines

In sound of conch shells

or may be in innocence of childhood

Where all shall I search for you?

Tell me,

Where were you?

I looked for you

In a cup of tea

And sometimes

in the imagination of my poems

But couldn't find you

Tell me

Where were you?

I couldn't ever read you

You are beyond understanding too

Are you a book of Ghalib?

Are you like a dream

which never fulfills?

Tell me...."

 

मेरे कौन हो तुम? (#whoyouaretome ?)

I always wondered, #whoyouaretome ?  Like star is to night, melody is to rhythm, birds is to sky, wave is to sea, who you are to me. I believe that each one of us, at least once in a lifetime comes across that one special person who makes a world seem to be a better place to live in. Whether you get lucky enough to spend your lifetime with that one person or not, but love remains till the last breath.

Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove. O no, it's an ever fixed mark, That looks o tempests and is never shaken; It is the star to ever wand'ring bark, Whose worth's unknown, Although his height be taken - William Shakespeare 

Your smile can take me miles, your eyes shine like a brightest star in the night, when I see the first message you send me in the morning it lights up my day, you constantly live in my heart, in my mind, there is never a dull moment in my life because I know you are with me, but then again I still want to know, who you are to me?

Keep searching, keep loving.....miles to go!!

Image courtesy: Man in life, Location: Manali, Himachal Pradesh

कई सवाल हैं मन में 

पूछना चाहती हूँ तुमसे 

क्या बता पाओगे मुझ को 

कि मेरे कौन हो तुम?

तपती दोपहरी में 

घने पेड़ की छाँव हो तुम 

सर्दी की रातों में 

गर्म आग हो तुम 

पर मेरे कौन हो तुम?

रोज़ रात को 

मेरी नींदों में चले आते हो 

रोज़ एक कच्चा घरौंदा बनाते हो 

आँख खुलते ही

छोड़ देते हो साथ मेरा,

फिर कहाँ चले जाते हो तुम? 

दिल की सूखी धरती पर 

सावन की पहली फुहार तुम 

मेरी आँखों का इंतज़ार तुम 

मेरी दुआ, मेरा काश तुम 

मेरी अधूरी कहानी का 

सबसे अहम् किरदार तुम 

पर ये तो कहो 

कि मेरे कौन हो तुम?

"thousand questions 

I want to ask you

Will you be able to answer

who you are to me?

You are like a tree

in sweltering afternoons

You are like a fire 

In cold winter nights,

But, who are you to me?

You visit me each night

In my sleep

you built a mud house each night

When I wake up

you leave me alone

Where do you go then?

You are like a first drizzle 

In my dried heart

These eyes awaits for you

You are my wish, my hope

You are the soul

Of my incomplete love story

But do tell me

Who are you to me?  

(प्रेम, अरुंधति और वशिष्ठ जैसा...) (Love, that constantly revolve around each other...)

Ever wondered about Vashisht and Arundhati ( Mizar and Alcor stars), the significance of these two in a couples life, well Indian weddings in most part of the country has this tradition of seeing these two stars immediately after the wedding ceremonies are over or may be one can say that it's one of the last ceremony in most cases. But I think differently about it, may be as time is changing, why only for married couples, this should have significance in lives of all those who are in love, who actually wish to be with each other life long. 

Being with each other doesn't mean physically always, it also means when someone is in your mind, your heart, your feelings, your thoughts...when you are in love. 

"Love is stars, wrapped in the skin, the answers you are seeking, have always been within..."

People in love need to learn that how the their life should be, they should move parallel to each other in all walks of life, instead of comparing themselves with each other, complaining of compromise. I feel compromise is a negative word, which lead to negative thoughts and ultimately fights.Relationships are no bargain or trade-off, they are much more than such feelings and thus one should accommodate, adjust, be in agreement with each other, find a middle ground to situations.

"Relationships can be tricked into being where it is not..."

If you ever feel the darkness in relationships, remember stars shine only in darkness. Don't promise moon and stars in a relationship to each other but promise to watch'em together.

"Love seize the moment and sometimes it seizes us..."

 

Image credit: myself , Location: Somewhere en-route to Ranikhet (Uttarakhand)

 

 "तू वशिष्ठ मैं अरुंधति तेरी
सहस्र युगों से साथ हूँ
पर कभी बढ़ी नहीं
दूरी, तेरी मेरी
तू प्रकाश के पिंड सा
मैं धूमिल छाया तेरी
न तुम पर उपकार मेरा
न मैं हूँ ऋणी तेरी
एक गति से चलते हैं
एक संग ही रहते हैं
कहीं तुममें मुझमें
रति तो नहीं,
एक दूजे बिना
रात कभी कटती नहीं
तम से ऊषा तक
निज होता साथ हमारा
युगों युगों तक यूँ ही रहेगा
ये प्रेम और विश्वास हमारा..."

Translation:

"you are my Mizar

 I am your Alcor

we are together for

thousands of years

but the distance between us

never increased,

you are bright as

an object of light

I am foggy

like a shadow,

Neither you favor me

nor I am

indebted to you,

we move at the same pace

and we live together

we surely seek pleasure

with each other,

the night can't get over

without we being together

from darkness till dawn

we stay with each other,

this love and trust

will live like this

for ever and ever and ever....."

 

 

अकेलापन....!!! (Loneliness...!!!)

"If love is universal no one can be left out... "

Solitude is fine, but you need someone to tell that solitude is fine. We all go through this phase in our life, when we find ourselves lonely, lonely in the crowd, lonely in life, each and every person you meet, makes you feel even more lonely.But loneliness do add beauty to life, your perspective changes, your way of looking and understanding people, situation, things changes. Not knowing your self worth leads to loneliness. It helps you smell the air in night, enjoy the sunset alone, count the stars more often, spend time with moon, there is so much one can do being lonely. 

"All great and precious things are lonely....one should enjoy this phase too"

Image courtesy: Man in life, Location: Fort Neemrana, Rajasthan

 

"बेचारगी की धुप में साया नहीं मिला

अपनों के दरम्यान कोई अपना नहीं मिला

मैं उसके ऐब उसको बतलाती भी किस तरह

मुझे वो शख़्स आज तक तनहा नहीं मिला

अब मेरा नाम तक नहीं

लोगों के ज़ेहन में

मैं वो मज़ार हूँ

जिसे कतबा नहीं मिला

तस्लीम मुझको अज़मत ऐ शहर खुर्द, मगर

पहचानता मुझे कोई, ऐसा शख्स नहीं मिला

हर रात को ये फक्र है

कुछ तीरगी बढ़ी

हर दिन को है गिला

कि उजाला नहीं मिला

साहिल के रेगज़ार में

क़िश्ती को छोड़कर

वो मुझसे कह रहा है

किनारा नहीं मिला

मुहब्बत का कुछ ऐसा था मेरी क़त्ल ऐ आम

आशिक़ तो मिला मगर इश्क़ ज़िंदा न था

देखा तो तीर ऐ शब् की तरह थी

क़िताब ऐ उम्र

मुझे एक वर्क़ भी तो कोरा नहीं मिला"

 Translation:

"Oh the scorching helplessness,

No shade to screen me from the pain

No one to call my own

amongst the people known,

How could I tell him his faults

I could never find him alone,

No one remembers me now

I am like a tomb without a gravestone,

Accept me, I don't brag in this world so small

but, didn't find a man,

who could ever know me,

Every night rejoices

the gloom within

Every day mourns

the truancy of light,

Beaching the boat

in the sands of time

He moans, the coast eludes him

The massacre of my love was such

I could find him

but there was no love within,

My book of life was like an arrow of time

Couldn't find a single page blank

to write upon...."

 

एक ख्वाब, एक दरीचा और मुहब्बत ( A dream, a window and love...)

The scars one can't see are the hardest to heal. Sometimes people had the right love at the wrong time. Which leads to loneliness at some point of time in life. And when the night falls, then their lonely heart calls. Unrequited love is life's biggest pain ever for anyone, being in love, while the other person doesn't love you back is like somebody is taking your soul away, the detachment kills you slowly.

"Love is pure, as it is devastating..."

I am still doing some soul search, I don't know what's more scary, you not loving me back or that me never stop loving you.

You are the reason, why I sleep so peacefully, because then you visit me in my dreams, and my dreams are actually mine. I don't know still, why am I trying to fly with a broken wing, but I will fly.

"Love doesn't always come easy, but keep loving..."

 

Pic courtesy: you all know by now, Location: Hotel Taj, Jaiselmer

 

"बंद आँखों के दरीचों से

अक्सर दीखता था एक ख्वाब

बादलों के पीछे से झांकता एक चाँद

मेरे मुस्तक़्बिल का अक्स दिखाता था

मेरे कदम आते जाते

अक्सर ठहर जाया करते थे

उन नज़रों से जब

वो हमें देखा करते थे

यूँ लगता था मानो

बेसाख़्ता बारिशें होने लगी हों

बिजली की चमक में

दिखती थी

सायों की नज़दीकियां

फिर अचानक

ना जाने क्या हुआ

साये खो गए

बारिशें थम गईं

चाँद डूब गया

चांदनी सिमट गयी

गुज़र रही हूँ मैं

किसी अनजान गली से

वहाँ एक दरीचा है,

उदास है

दिल के वीराने में

उग आये हैं अब कुछ झाड़

यूँ लगता है

कभी मुहब्बत बसती थी यहाँ

अब यादों के खंडहर हैं

और कुछ धुंधले से साये हैं...."

 

Translation:

 

I often saw a dream

with my closed eyes, 

Moon looking out from

behind the clouds

Used to show me, my future

Often I used to stop

when his eyes met mine

Just as if, raining hard

shadows of the two

were seen during lightening

then suddenly

what happened,

the shadows lost, 

the rain stopped,  

the moon sank

the moonlight shrank,

Now, I am going through

an unknown lane

There is a window

a sad one,

in the wilderness of the heart

I can see few shrubs growing

feels like

once upon a time

Love used to live here

but now

there are ruins of memories

and some blurred shadows...'

 

"एक अधूरा सा प्यार..." (An incomplete love...)

 "You will always be an unfinished part of me...!!"

Every time when I write something; a poem or my thoughts, or when I paint something, or may be when I work on something, initially it feels complete to me. But, then every time when I go through my pages again, everything seem so incomplete. I stare at my paintings, I re-read my poems, I stare at my work for hours and I see so many flaws in it, I find every poem, every story, every work incomplete. Still I see many of you liking what I write and that's something which make me believe that even incomplete thoughts, feelings, stories, poems, paintings, artworks are actually not incomplete, because "great is not really great, humility is'.

"I have so much left to say to you", unending feelings, long walks, silent words, sky full of stars, coffee mugs, favorite books, long drives, common friends, soulful music and the list goes on, "I don't know, what I am still hoping".

"There is only one happiness in life, to love and to be loved..."

Image courtesy: man in life, Location: en route to Nainital, Uttarakhand

 

"ठंडी सुबह में कोहरे की धुंध सा
पेड़ों के पत्तों पर ओस की बूंदों सा
चूल्हे में लकड़ी से लिपटी
आग सा
काली रातों में शर्म से सिमटी
अदाओं सा है प्यार
अब कैसे बताऊँ तुम्हें
की कैसा है ये प्यार

पागल है मीरा सा,
राधा के इंतज़ार सा
निर्मल है गंगा सा,
सम्पूर्ण गीता के सार सा
शीरीं के फरहाद सा,
हीर के रांझे सा
मजनू की हर चोट में
लैला की आह सा प्यार,
कैसे अब बताऊँ तुम्हे,
कि कैसा अलबेला है ये प्यार,
मैं तुझमें हूँ 
क्या तू मुझमें है,
बस इस एक सवाल के जवाब सा
एक अधूरा सा प्यार..."

Translation:

foggy in cold mornings

just like dew drops on the leaves

burning hot like fire

in stove

full of shyness, in dark nights

now how should i tell you

that how love is...

mad like Meera,

waits like Radha

pure like Ganges

summarised like Geeta,

Like Farhad of Sheeri

like Ranjha of Heer

like every wound of Majnu

like concern of Laila

now how do i tell you

how unique is this love

I am in you,

But are you in me?

Just like an answer to this question

an incomplete love...."

 

रूह फना ना हो जाए...(Soul may perish...!!!)

 Here I come again, only for you...!! I want you to hold me in your loving arms, I want you to need me like i need you all the time, I continue to breath because I continue to think about you, about the time spent, about the memories created, about you, me, everything.

For me loving you is like painting the canvas, in the starting, it's only an idea but as the time goes, it's built up through adjustments, corrections, errors, trust till you come up with your final artwork.

"Love without limits, laugh till you cry,smile till your mouth hurts and live till you die..."

Image courtesy: An old friend, Location:Fatehpur Sikri

 

"हाल ए दिल बयाँ न हो जाए

बेज़ुबानी ज़ुबाँ न हो जाये,

मैं खुद नहीं हूँ वाक़िफ़ ए राह

ग़ुम कहीं मेरी मुहोब्बत का

कारवाँ न हो जाये

फिर कहीं उसकी याद आये तो

ये आरज़ू फिर जवाँ न हो जाये

सिर्फ याद ऐ बहार बाकि है

वो भी कहीं

नज़र ऐ ख़िज़ाँ ना हो जाये

कुछ सांसें अभी बाकी हैं

चले आओ

कहीं ये भी साथ छोड़ दें

और जिस्म से मेरे

रूह फना हो जाए..."

 

Translation:

The heart may open up

it may speak too

I don't know the route myself

The caravan of my love,

may get lost somewhere

What if, I remember you

somewhere again

My desires may 

revive again

Only the good memories are left

they may as well

not fade away

Come back,

few breaths are still left

what if they also leave me

and my soul may persih

someday...."

 

क्या मैं पहचान गयी तुम्हें? (Did I know you?)

I have known you nearly half my life, and once I knew you, I never wanted to know anyone else. I am sure, it wasn't the love at first sight, but I have definitely had moments, where I saw you as a person, and I was like, mm there is something different about you and I really want to get to know you.May be I don't know that much about you as I keep thinking, may be you know more about me, may be we both don't know anything about each other, there are so many, may be. But, I know this is true, I am blessed, because I was loved by you.

Sometimes it takes a good fall to really know, where you stand. And I have taken that fall. And realized that I can't ever feel lonely, because you are always in my thoughts, day and night.

"Let the thoughts be free to go anywhere, if you fall, rise again.....!!"

Image courtesy: man in life, Location: Neemrana Fort, Rajasthan

                                                                                

" तुमने सोचा न था

मैं पहचान जाऊँगी तुम्हें

सोचा कभी,

पन्नों पर उतार लूँ तुम्हें

पर तुम कोई कविता नहीं 

मेरे दिल की प्यास हो तुम

जाने जां बहुत खास हो तुम,

मेरे सीने में जो सुलगती है

वो सांस हो तुम

आँखों में जो बसता है

वो ख्वाब हो तुम,

मुझे गले लगाकर

कभी पास रहो तुम

बहुत याद आती हो

ऐसा कभी कहो तुम,

एक प्यास जमी है आँखों में 

न जाने वो क्यों नहीं पिघलती

रह जाती हैं उमड़ घुमड़ कर

पर खुलकर कभी नहीं बरसती

मैं अधूरी

मेरी प्यास अधूरी

मेरी आरज़ू,मेरी जुस्तजू अधूरी 

न जाने कब से तू

मेरी आँखों में क़ैद है

जन्मों से बिछड़ा हुआ

मेरी ज़िन्दगी का

एक अधूरा टुकड़ा.....

क्या ये सच है,

कि पहचान गयी हूँ तुम्हें?

 

Translation:

 

"You didn't think
I will recognize you
Thought sometimes,
Write you down on the pages
But you aren't poem,
you are the thirst of my heart
You know, you are very special
You are that burning breath 
Like the fire in my heart,
You are the dream
The one who dwells in my eyes
Hold me tight sometimes
stay near me
you too miss me so much
say it someday to me
A thirst is frozen
Don't know, why it doesn't melt
They wander, but never rains
I am incomplete,
my thirst is incomplete
My hope, my love
both incomplete
Don't know since when
I have imprisoned you
in my eyes
Separated from ages
An incomplete piece 
Of my life..."

Is it true,
that i Know you? 

 

 

अनजान...!! (Unknown...!!!)

 Love ceases to be a pleasure, only when it ceases to be a secret...!!!

Many believes in that, I am one of them. You are not a stranger to me but you are an unknown. I love you as certain dark things to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul. May our love be modern enough to survive the times and old fashioned enough to last forever.

It's a fact that all of us have our own share of difficulties in life, but the difficulties of life are intended to make us a better person, not bitter. I always believed that meeting you was fate, became friends by choice but falling in love with you, I had no control over.

People are supposed to fear Unknown, but I am in love with you. No matter where I am, how I am, I will always have a special place for you

"I Love you with all my life, and it's not like you will ever know..."

                                     Pic courtesy: my little angel. Location: Home

" तू प्रेमी था

पर अनजान था

मैं प्रेम थी

पर अजनबी थी

कभी बादलों को देख

मेरे गेसूओं का

साया मांगता था तू

कभी अपनी गर्म साँसों में

मेरी साँसों की

गर्मी चाहता था तू

पूनम की रात में

चांदनी निहारता था

शायद इसी उम्मीद में

की मैं भी देखती होंगी

उस हसीं चाँद को 

तू महसूस कर पायेगा

उस लम्हे में

मेरे वज़ूद को अपने आस पास

बहुत कोशिश की मैंने

तुझे समझने की

तुझे जानने की

पर तू ठहरा

एक अनजान अजनबी

और अब मुझे

तू अनजान ही पसंद है...."

 

Translation:

 

"You were a lover

but were unknown

I was love

But stranger

Looking at dark clouds

You hope to spend time

Under the shadow of my

dark, long hairs

Sometimes you wished

to feel my breath

on your face

You use to look at

full moon in nights

Hoping

I may be also watching 

the full moon

You may, feel 

my presence in your life

I tried a lot

to understand you 

To know you more

But you are like

a stranger, an Unknown

And now,

I love this Unknown..." 

 

साया ( A shadow....)

Life's been hunky dory during these trying times, well actually it's always been like that. But for some it has become the tough times and for some, it's business as usual. Like me, I have always been in love, I am still in love and who knows if I remain like this till my last breath.

"Life is a journey, love is a path to that..."

Quiet...and now listen, can you hear a sound of someone being around you, can you feel someone close to you, so close that you can actually hear the breathing. Do you find it creepy, may be crazy sometimes? Don't worry, it's a shadow you love around you, yeah, it can be madness but madness is not to be despised and not to be feared but instead it is life.

I like my shadow, it reminds me that I exist and you too.

And this is for you and only you, no matter how far you go away, you can never get away from me, as I always feel the presence of your shadow with me. Not fair....

"Life has no rules, so does love....."

                         Pic courtesy: man in life, Location; en route Dhanaulti, Uttarakhand                         

 

"यूँ लगता है कभी 

लिपट गया है मुझसे 

तेरा साया कोई,

समां गए हो यूँ तुम 

यादों में मेरी 

जैसे गहरी साज़िशों में 

समां जाता है राज़ कोई,

सँवार जाते हो कभी ख्वाब मेरे 

जैसे आँखों में लगा देता है 

काजल कोई 

महक जाती हैं यादें मेरी 

जब दिख जाता है 

खिलता गुलाब कोई 

लौट जाती हैं यादें तुम्हारी 

जगा देता है जब नींद से कोई 

दर्द बनकर 

कुछ यूँ बहते हो तुम साँसों में मेरी 

जैसे शाँत सागर में 

टकरा जाती है 

लहरों की हूक कोई 

लिपटा रहने दो अब 

अपने इस साये को मुझसे 

जैसे बारिशों में 

बदन से लिपटी हो बूँद कोई...."

 

Translation:

 

I, sometimes feel you

around me

Like your shadow is near

and holding me,

You are so deep 

inside my heart

as if i am hiding

a secret 

You, make my dreams beautiful

as if I have used Kohl in my eyes

My memories smell good

when I see a blooming rose

Your memories run away from me

When somebody wakes me up

You run like pain inside me

when I breathe

As if some tide has 

hit the rocks

Let you leave 

your shadow around me now

Like a drop of rain

wrapped around me..."

 

 

 

वो १७ साल...(A journey of 17 years...)

"Missing you comes in waves, I know this because now I am drowning..."

Before you think, good or evil, right or wrong, good or bad, correct or incorrect, love or hate, near or far, black or white, deep or shallow, me or you; think who you are? I am a wanderer, I always travel, sometimes to see new place, sometimes to learn, sometimes to hide, sometimes to seek and sometimes I travel to search my soul, myself.

It seems that I won't stop ever, though it's good to end the journey but in the end the journey matters. A million words won't bring you back because I know you don't read, neither would a million tears, I know because I cried.

Start where you are, use what you have, do what you can....!!
 

Location; The haunted fort of Bhangarh, Image courtesy : husband

"मैं कौन थी ?

तुम कौन थे ?

मैं एक नाम थी 

तुम एक नाम थे... 

दो अनजाने चेहरे 

कहीं गुमनाम थे 

खींच लायी थी क़रीब 

वो एक मुलाकात 

पर हम अनजान थे 

दोस्ती से शुरू हुआ था एक सफर 

सीढ़ियां चढ़ता गया 

कुछ मैं बढ़ती गयी 

कुछ तू बढ़ता गया 

तुझमें और मुझमें 

बस यही एक फर्क था 

मुझे तुमसे मुहब्बत थी 

और तुम्हें शायद 

सिर्फ "तू" पसंद था,

बालिग़ होने से बरस दूर थी 

मुहब्बत मेरी 

फिर क्यों तू 

मुँह फेर कर चला गया??

 

Translation:

 

"Who was I?

Who were you?

I was a name

You were a name...

Two unknown people

Lost somewhere

That one meeting

drew us close

But we were unaware

The journey

started with friendship

and kept climbing the ladder

I took few steps

and so does you

the only difference between us was

I was in love with you

But you liked "yourself" only

Our love was an year away 

from turning eighteen,

then why did you 

Leave me and turn away.....?? 

बारिश का पौधा ...!!! (a tree of Rain)

It's a very hot night, humid and sweaty, everyone has been waiting for rains, but rains are nowhere in sight. I find peace inside me, when it rains. I love when it is misty in evenings and I am out walking by myself. There are times when i love to stay at home when it rains, with a hot cup of coffee and a good book.

I love watching kids playing in puddle, drenching couples with a soaking joy. 

The time reminds me of my all time favorite song 'listen to the rhythm of falling rains..." and "rimjhim gire sawan..."

"Let's get lost in the world of books, coffee and rains..."

Location: A perfect location, Image courtesy: Internet 

"सोचो गर बारिश  का भी पौधा होता 

कैसा अनमोल वो पौधा होता 

बूंदों की पत्ती होतीं 

सावन का मौसम होता 

दिल की बंजर भूमि पर 

गिरती जब आसमान से बूँदें 

बारिश के पौधे का उद्भव होता 

सींच प्यार की मिटटी से 

इक दिन वो एक पेड़ बनता 

धीमी फुहार सा झरता रहता 

जब भी हम में झगड़ा होता 

लगती प्यास जब बारिश की 

हम उसकी डाल हिलाते 

प्रेम पनपता उसके नीचे   

कभी तुम भीगते 

कभी हम भीग जाते 

काश, तुम होते , मैं होती 

और बारिशों का वो पेड़ होता..."

Translation:

" Think, what if we had a rain tree

how unique it must have been

Leaves made of rainy drops, and

A season of monsoon always,

When it rained on

The fallow land of my heart

The plant of rain grows...

with the mud of my love

It would have turned into a tree, one day

Whenever we would have fought

It would have sprayed like a slow drizzle

Whenever we would have the thirst

of Rain

We shook it's branch

Only love would have blossomed 

under this tree

Sometimes, you got wet

sometimes, me drenched

Wish, You were here

I was here

And the tree of Rain was here....."

Who are you??

Seeker, may be or a lost wanderer....!!

Well all I meant to say is, have you ever wondered about who we are? Who am I? Am I brilliant? Am I good? Am I successful? Am I fabulous? Am I lucky? Yes, we all go through such questions in our lifetime, not once but many times. Simply because we are seekers, we are always curious to find out more about ourselves.

Live your life like each day is a new day, to teach new chapters of life. Don't let others tell you about who you are else you are living their reality and not yours.

"If you cannot be the poet, be a poem..." 

We may be a thousand things but the the world chooses to see the million things we are not, we may be a name to someone, a shape to other, we may be a partner to someone and stranger to other but we all are something which only we know. Stick to this self of yours, live your life the way you wish to.

"I am my favorite book, but who you are.....?''

Location: Home, When: midnight, Pic courtesy: the man in life

"कौन हो तुम 

जो वक़्त बेवक़्त चले आते हो 

कौन हो 

जो दिल के दरवाज़व पर दस्तक लगाते हो....

हवाओं का रूप धर के 

कभी बादलों का भेष भर कर 

अपने होने का अहसास कराते हो 

कौन हो तुम ?

नरम दूब पर 

ओस की बूंदों से दिखते हो 

मिट्टी के गमलों में 

फूलों से खिलते हो 

कौन हो तुम ?

उगते सूरज की गर्मी में 

खिलते पलाश से लगते हो 

गहराती शाम के अंधेरों में 

सेमल की रूई से लगते हो 

कौन हो तुम ?

शायद वो पथिक हो 

जो राह भटक गया था 

जा रहा था कहीं और 

और दिल पर मेरे 

दस्तक दे गया था....."

Translation:

"Who are you?

Who come in time 

Who are you?

Why do you knock at my heart

By the appearance of the winds

and sometimes

you feel like being presence of the clouds

Who are you?

Sometimes like dew drops on fresh grass

and sometimes like a flower in my clay pots

Who are you?

You seem to blossom 

In the heat of the rising sun

And the soft cotton wool (semal)

In the dark evenings

Who are you?

Oh, you may be the wanderer

Who lost his track

Was going somewhere else

But stopped 

To knock at my heart..."

Keep turning the page...!!!

Nothing ever heals you from inside...

They say time heals you from within, it heals you emotionally, but I do not agree. Nothing ever heals you from inside, until you go or you let go. And letting go isn't an easier thing, you have to let go every day and it still remains. The more you try to forget, more you remember.

You feel something burning inside you, you try to run away, turn your back on and try putting a full stop to everything but there are some feelings which never fades away.

Sometimes, somethings, someone never leaves you...!!

You do your best, you remind yourself to forget but nothing helps you.

I still don't know, when is the time to turn the page...but you keep turning!!

Location: no one needs to know ;-) Pic courtesy : as ever

" हो चुका है वक़्त शायद... 

अब जाने का समय आ गया है 

लगा था मुझको 

की जो भीतर है 

वो जा चुका है 

मगर ये क्या,

तू तो आज भी मन के अंदर सुलग रहा है,

कैसी कशिश है ये तेरी

कौन सा ये रूप है तेरा 

तू ही हो मेरे संग 

ये सपना आज भी आँखों में पल रहा है,

दबा रखी है कोई चिंगारी कहीं शायद 

खुद ही के अंदर मैंने 

कि बंद आँखों में 

सपना मेरा, खुद ही सुलग जाता है 

तेरे क़दमों की आहट हो 

या दे दिल के दरवाज़े पे तू दस्तक कोई 

मेरी ज़िन्दगी का हर लम्हा 

तेरी यादों के गुलिस्ताँ में सुलग जाता है 

वक़्त हो गया है अब, शायद..."

Translation:

"May be, it's time

Time to go

I thought

that you have gone

But what's this

You are still 

Burning slowly inside my heart

Why this attraction

Which is this form of you

You should always be with me

Still the same dream in my eyes

There seems to be fire 

Somewhere inside me

Though my eyes are closed

But my dream burns on its own

Whether it's your footstep

Or your knock in my heart

Every moment of my life

gets burned in your thoughts

May be, it's time now..."

I let you go....!!!

It's time.....!!

There comes a time to stop trying to make things right with people that won't own their part in what went wrong. I lost my mind, many a times, just to understand yours. But alas, as always I couldn't. You are like a bird for me, who could never be caged, you have your own world, your own freedom, your own sky, where you always wish to fly high. You are your own music, but where am I.

Today, I am letting you go, but that doesn't mean that I don't care about you anymore, it's just that you are a part of my history but not a part of my destiny.

We all, at some point of time, need to let go, why tie weights to the ankle?

Just let go, forgive, feel light.....

It may sound like you lost the world, but may be you gained the universe.....!!

Today, I let you go..........!!

Location: my home, When: during lockdown, Image courtesy: Myself 

"क्या, कुछ कहा तुमने? 

हम्म, शायद कुछ सुना मैंने 

कहीं कुछ अनकहा सा 

कुछ अनसुना सा 

दबी क़दमों की आहट सा 

दिल के किसी कोने से 

टूटी हुई आस सा 

कहो ना,

सुन रही हूँ मैं 

जो नहीं कह पाए तुम 

वो तुम्हारी आँखों में 

पढ़ रही हूँ मैं 

मेरे दिल के किसी कोने में 

अभी भी एक आस जगी है 

रोज़ रात आती है 

रोज़ सुबह होती है 

बस एक तेरी कमी सी है 

पर तुम कहो न 

सुन रही हूँ मैं,

नहीं कह पाओगे 

जानती हूँ 

जाना चाहते हो तुम 

कहीं दूर , मुझसे बहुत दूर 

एक अलग मंज़िल की तलाश में 

जिसमें तुम हो 

और सिर्फ तुम हो 

पीछे छोड़ देना चाहते हो 

गुज़रे हुए वक़्त को 

तो कहो ना 

सुन रही हूँ मैं,

जाओ, चले जाओ 

जब तुम यहाँ हो ही नहीं

तो क्योंकर रोकूँ तुम्हे 

तुम अब आज़ाद हो 

तुम्हे जाने दिया मैंने 

अब सिर्फ कुछ सन्नाटे हैं 

मेरी यादों के 

अब उन्हें सुन रही हूँ मैं.... "

Translation:

"Did you say something,

yes, I did hear something

something unsaid

something unheard

just like the sound of pensive steps

just like broken hope

so speak up,

i am listening to you,

things you could not say

i am reading those in your eyes

somewhere in my heart

there is still a ray of hope

everyday the night falls

the morning comes every day

 only you are missing

but you speak up

i am listening to you

No, you won't be able to say something

i know

you wish to go far away

far from me

in search of new destination 

in which only you are

and only you are

you wish to leave behind the past

so speak up,

i am listening to you,

Go, just leave

when you are not here

then why should I stop you

You are free now

I let you go

Now, there is silence

and sound of

few of my memories,

And I am listening to them...."

How delightfully, insensitive"...!!

"Those who are critical don't like being criticized, and those who are insensitive have a deficiency in their senses."Suzy Kassem.

There are times when people around us feel that they are wiser or better because they have come above all things in life and because they have ceased to care. But it's not true, if you are being insensitive to others to prove your point that nothing affects you, then you are lying to yourself and not only to yourself but also to the people who care about you.

If you can't make me feel special, then don't make me feel insignificant either. We all must have come across this thought many a times in our lives. And it's true, if you really care for someone, tell them whatever is hurting you, instead of keeping it inside and showing that I am above all of this.

It's the irony of human nature that the most sensitive people are generally insensitive to the feelings of others.

"Your insensitivity never seizes to amaze me darling..."

Location: Bhangarh Fort, Rajasthan. Pic Credit: the man in life

"पहले तू अजनबी हुआ 

फिर तेरी मुहब्बत अजनबी हो गयी 

कई बार देखा है मैंने तेरी बेरुखी को 

फिर बेरुखी से भी बेरुखी हो गयी, 

तू मुझसे अजनबी हुआ 

और मैं 

ज़िन्दगी से अजनबी हो गयी,

माने अब तू, या न माने 

दर्द तो बखूबी दिया है तूने 

और मैं,'

इस दर्द से भी खुश हो गयी,

कुछ गुंजाइशें बची हैं, शायद अभी 

ज़िन्दगी में मेरी 

तू शामिल है अपनी बेरुखी के साथ 

आदतों में मेरी,

कभी तो पेश आएगा तू मुहब्बत से 

बस, यही है अब एक उम्मीद मेरी..."

Translation:

"First, you became a stranger

then your love unknown

have faced you this way, many a times

then I became stranger to your strangeness,

You became insensitive to me

And I became unknown to life,

Whether you agree, or

you don't

You gave me lot of pain, And look

look at me

I am happy with this pain too

It seems, few chances I may still have

in my life

That's why, you are still a part of me

with all your strangeness and

insensitivity

May be one day, you will realize it

And, that's one hope

I still have..."